Boy, this lockdown thing can be stressful!

29.04.20 – Darrell Priestley

So, how well do you think you are handling things?

What we are experiencing now is developing into much more of a marathon than a sprint. When lockdown began, we could tell ourselves that it would be just a few weeks, that we could get through it. I suppose we will get through it, but how, and in what shape? And at what cost to ourselves? Even if you are happy, there is simply so much stress from so many sources. Stress is insidious, and it wears away at you.

There are many reasons for me to be happy right now. My family are well, if temporarily remote, but we are constantly in touch. I am keeping up with good friends, and they too are ok, and handling things well overall. Most of my students are now having lessons online, and it feels incredibly good to see them each week, a reminder to me just how valuable such relationships are.

But still, this stress. I have it now, and as an underlying feeling in my chest almost all of the time. And this is normal now, with many people feeling just the same. From all sides, we have concerns. Work is an obvious one, and finances with it. Future health prospects represent another, and not only due to the virus. Many conditions are going without timely treatment, as routine treatments and elective surgery have taken a big hit, and it is reported that it may take several years for the health service to get back to where it was before the outbreak, when waiting times for many procedures were already lengthy.

What about our childrens’ education? How will they cope, and will it affect their development? And then there is the concern that year ten children in particular may feel the impact on their GCSEs next year; would that have any long term impact on their prospects? Speaking with the children I now teach online, a picture is emerging of wide differences in their school’s approach. Most children appear not to have had any direct online contact with thier teachers, though some schools are proactively staying in contact to monitor children’s progress each week. Others find they are expected to pick up work from a school portal, but there are big variations in the volume of work set, and where there may be any lack of good coordination between teaching staff there is the danger that, though well intentioned, the volume of work set could in some cases be overwhelming. Any projects, after all, must be fitted into already stressed lives, and being overworked is as bad as being underworked.

Although working at home, a problem I have, which I think is very common, is a difficulty in switching off. Because I am now at home, the distinction between work and the rest of my life is becoming ever more blurred, which means I’m finding it hard to put the computer down and let go, which somehow seems to build tension. Even just to relax and watch a 45 minute TV programme can be difficult to do, and we achieve this surprisingly little. Another bad habit is working late into the evening, now that in theory we work in the day time only. Stopping work altogether in time for the evening meal is a very good idea, but one that is hard for me to pull off in practice. I put this down to a combination of relief, guilt and fear; relief that miraculously my work can continue, guilt at the thought that I might ever not pull my weight, and fear that if I slack off at all the whole thing might collapse. I am quite sure that some combination of this toxic mix of motivators is driving many others, just like me.

A further source of stress for most of the people I speak with is shopping. Hours a week can be spent just trying to book a home delivery with one of the supermarkets, while the thought of going out and successfully maintaining a social distance for the entire time winds us up, even before you start to think about all those contact points like doors and trolleys, etc.

Besides all this, the future looks different, but what no-one really knows is, different how? Coming out of isolation, how will our mental health stand up? What will our working lives look like, will our family’s health prospects have changed, what changes will there be to holidays, to travel, to cafes, bars, hotels and such? That is an awful lot of unknown for us to handle.

Faced with all of this, it pays to have something that you can be sure of. Many people have told me that what helps them get through this is routine. That can be a routine you didn’t have previously, but routine helps to define our days. Reading hour is something we have tried, and though we rarely manage a whole hour it has become a time of relaxation and lighter hearts. I take an entire day off during the week, the only permitted work related activity being this blog, and while I love my work find this helps so much in coping with stress. Physical exercise is really helpful, especially if it makes you a little out of breath; I’ve not been managing this much lately, and feel worse for that – must try to fit it in. Any activity that engages the mind, and takes you away for a while, can be very beneficial, and could include crafts, gardening, journaling such as keeping a diary, and of course playing music.

I know I am not alone in feeling stress during these uncertain times, but it is important to try to build a strategy for coping, to help us find a way through it all that will deliver us safe on the other side of lockdown. I was especially encouraged recently when the parents of a student I used to teach contacted me, sharing their thoughts and concerns, and how they were dealing with things. Subsequently I have had an email converstaion with their daughter, now a scientist, at whose wedding I played organ and piano last year. She and her research scientist husband seem to be making a reasonable success of life during lockdown, taking up regular reading (and loving it), and going for regular walks. It is really encouraging to know that people can adopt new habits to help protect themselves and endure these difficult times.

Another thing to take strength from is appreciation of others. Look around you at society, and people in general are developing a deeper appreciation for the each other, for one another’s work, and for the contribution that other people make to our lives. Perhaps we were too busy to see this before, but it is a wlecome change now. I hope that in a post lockdown future this warmth will remain, and that we will acknowledge other people more than ever – it would surely lead to a happier world if we do.

Thinking of you all at this difficult time.

Darrell Priestley

Poet’s Corner

27.04.20 – Reader Contribution

Hi!. Recently I suggested that some of you send in your thoughts to us, to share here in our regular Coronovirus Resistance Group! One of my older students, Brenda, has submitted poetry, no less, prompted by her near amazement that she has cracked using the software for online music lessons. Go, Brenda! I always knew you could do it!

Not Giving In!

by Brenda Nettleship

Darrell successfully added me to his list of successes, After my sad history of many online misses, Hey presto we suddenly had vision and sound, This new skill I suddenly had found, Due to Darrell’s determination and grit, I suddenly shouted oh I’ve GOT IT!!! At last we completed a successful lesson, A fully completed session, Pray please let me succeed connection next week, If not I fear we may both sadly weep, But I am determined to look forward and not be despondent, When he tunes in next week I WILL BE RESPONDENT !!!

Oh the mysteries of life we have to still discover, This Corona Virus has found me another, My ageing mind still struggles on with more Apps on my screen, Some I thought would never be seen, We have social sites, google, shopping, maps and DATING if you DARE!!! But of scams we need to be aware, We have to keep up with the fast moving times, So we don’t start losing our minds. Bring it on, We are not giving in without a fight, We will struggle and find the light.

Finally we will come through these strange and difficult days, Look at life in different ways, Freedom to go out and play and spend our days as we wish, Do the the things that we most miss, Sadly online lessons will no longer be a part of or lives, Arriving on time I will have to STRIVE, That secret belongs to myself and my academy friends, My wayward ways I must AMMEND.!!!

Many thanks to Brenda for making us laugh, and we look forward to other students and their families having their say. Send your contributions to the usual email address.

Of Family, and Fondest Things…

26.04.20 – Darrell Priestley

Some days you feel it more than others. This morning, I just really want to spend the day with my daughter Jessica and her family. We message, we have several phone chats per day, plus having Teams meetings (the same as we use for all our online lessons) has been brilliant, but of course there is nothing quite like being together. So, you pick yourself up and get on with your day.

Jessica has supplied today’s blog post. In addition to her musical life , she is an early years education specialist, and so as well as an upbeat focus on coping with life during lockdown, (it seems to be a family trait!), she takes the perspective of home educating younger children so they can come through this well, with bright and curious minds.

Coming soon: Watch out for contributions from your fellow readers, too. My recent request for your thoughts is yielding fruit, and amongst other things our readers have been inspired to poetry!

Learning on the Land

26.04.20 – Jessica Laughton

This past week we’ve seen some wonderful weather. The combination of the sun on my face and watching the sun beams dance across the garden has been quite exhilarating to say the least. As for many of you I’m sure, these past few weeks has seen more of us venture out into our gardens and this past week with the beautiful sun and warm weather has been just the perfect invitation to get outside and enjoy our surroundings.

In recent weeks many of us have began home schooling and our house is no exception. However, this week we have taken our learning outside into the garden. I have two children, my eldest (Freddie) is three and my youngest (Eliodie) is eight months. Our garden isn’t especially big by any means but we are still able to go out and enjoy most of the day playing and learning at the same time.

Each day in the garden has been different and filled with adventure.  Earlier on in the week, as per usual, Freddie chose a book to read before bed.  This particular evening he had chosen one of his favourite books, ‘The Hungry Caterpillar’.   Often very inspired by the books he has read, the following morning I observed Freddie re-enacting the story for his sister Elodie.  He ran into his playroom in search of his basket of animals and took out a toy butterfly along with other creature such as frogs, bees and spiders.  Later that morning during our time outside Freddie decided to go on a bug hunt in search of the creatures that lived in our garden.  He was fascinated to see the ants at work and observed them for several minutes climbing over the buds on the peonies.  I explained that the ants were collecting the sweet sap from the flower buds and that this was a sign the flowers will open soon.  Freddie was very excited by this and each day he goes to say hello and check on the ants as they work.  

Driven by a keen interest in animals, Freddie decided to create a home for his toy Frogs.  We used a spare clear plastic tub to create a pond.  Freddie added stones for them to sit on and flowers and leaves before adding the water. From this activity we learnt about the life cycle of a frog.

However, this week hasn’t just been about animals. Each day there has been a new adventure to embark on in the garden. We have taken our rocking and hobby horses along with our swords and shields into the garden to be knights for the day (Elodie included on her own rocking horse). Another day we dressed up as pirates and went fishing for the day in the water tray.

We’ve truly enjoyed immersing ourselves in the surroundings of our garden.  We’ve made artwork using the stones we’ve found to make the picture and created new and exciting games to play using what ever we have to hand. 

You may recall from an earlier blog (‘Digging for Victory’) I mentioned how we boldly dug up parts of our patio to create vegetable beds. Well I am very happy to report that we now have rocket growing and the potatoes are starting to surface. Freddie has taken on the roll of checking on the progress of the runner beans at the start of each day. So far he has counted twenty three shoots in total and there are signs of more to come.

So whilst there are many aspects of the outside world we are missing, we are taking more notice of our garden and the life (be it plant or wildlife) that lives within it. In fact I would say we are developing a new appreciation for our own back garden.

Here’s to Looking Ahead

25.04.20 – Darrell Priestley

You may be wondering how in the present circumstances my blog posts always manage to be so relentlessly upbeat. Good point. Truth is, you don’t know the half of it. If I get fired up about things, I start to write, to work it out of my system, as it were. But as long as Eileen is my editor, you just get the upbeat stuff, and the rest goes in the bin. Which is as it should be.

Continuing the upbeat theme, then, and contrary to some news items you may see, and more than a little online chatter, there have been some brilliant examples of social distancing, but with a friendly flavour. My son, an NHS manager, had a day off from work today, and spent part of it on a countryside walk. While out and about in the Spring sunshine, he observed several instances of groups of friends enjoying their daily exercise together while observing social distancing rules. It is so encouraging to see how people are making the effort to contain the virus and stop transmission, while maintaing the warmth and friendship that they are accustomed to.

To close, a few of the things we are looking forward to when allowed out. In no particular order, they include:

i) Going to a garden centre – I am getting withdrawal symptoms, and chomping at the bit.

ii) Enjoying lunch at King’s Croft with our friends Brenda and Bill.

iii) Calling in at our local, friendly coffee shop, Jolly’s, to catch up with Darren and Alison. I would like to say that everyone is invited, in fact we should probably have a party to celebrate a) their reopening, and b) being allowed to have a party.

iv) Seeing everyone at the Northern Music Academy and teaching in person for the first time in ages.

v) A big, big bike ride. Note: When you go on a big, big bike ride, you need to plan for two key things – a) coffee stops, and b) toilets. Fortunately, you can generally combine the two, but for either one you need cafe’s to be open of course.

vi) Going on a picnic. Quite frankly, I’m not too fussed where, but in the meantime it’s picnics in the back garden or, on rainy days, picnics in the living room.

vii) Going to the museums in York.

These next three are big ones:

viii) Hugs with the family.

ix) Grandchildren coming to sleep.

x) Getting the whole family round our table for dinner

Why not let everyone know what you are most looking forward to? Send your thoughts to us at the usual email address.